Ambrose Bierce

HATCHET, n. A...

HATCHET, n. A...

HATCHET, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.

Source: The Devil's...

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GOOD, adj. Sensible,...

GOOD, adj. Sensible,...

GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him...

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GOUT, n. A...

GOUT, n. A...

GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient.

Source: The...

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GRAMMAR, n. A...

GRAMMAR, n. A...

GRAMMAR, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he...

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FRIENDSHIP, n. A...

FRIENDSHIP, n. A...

FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

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HISTORIAN, n. A...

HISTORIAN, n. A...

HISTORIAN, n. A broad-gauge gossip.

Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
--...

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GUILLOTINE, n. A...

GUILLOTINE, n. A...

GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

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HARMONISTS, n. A...

HARMONISTS, n. A...

HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were...

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HABEAS CORPUS. A...

HABEAS CORPUS. A...

HABEAS CORPUS. A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong...

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FUNERAL, n. A...

FUNERAL, n. A...

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief...

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HISTORY, n. An...

HISTORY, n. An...

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves,...

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HANDKERCHIEF, n. A...

HANDKERCHIEF, n. A...

HANDKERCHIEF, n. A small square of silk or linen, used in various ignoble offices about the face and especially...

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HASH, x. There...

HASH, x. There...

HASH, x. There is no definition for this word -- nobody knows what hash is.

Source:...

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HABIT, n. A...

HABIT, n. A...

HABIT, n. A shackle for the free.

Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
--...

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GRAVE, n. A...

GRAVE, n. A...

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

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HOMOEOPATHY, n. A...

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A...

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are...

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HEART, n. Figuratively,...

HEART, n. Figuratively,...

HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known...

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HIPPOGRIFF, n. An...

HIPPOGRIFF, n. An...

HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a compound creature,...

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HARBOR, n. A...

HARBOR, n. A...

HARBOR, n. A place where ships taking shelter from storms are exposed to the fury of...

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GUNPOWDER, n. An...

GUNPOWDER, n. An...

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if...

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