Ambrose Bierce

GENEALOGY, n. An...

GENEALOGY, n. An...

GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his...

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FRIENDLESS, adj. Having...

FRIENDLESS, adj. Having...

FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common...

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FORK, n. An...

FORK, n. An...

FORK, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the...

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FINANCE, n. The...

FINANCE, n. The...

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The...

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EXHORT, v.t. In...

EXHORT, v.t. In...

EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown...

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GENEROUS, adj. Originally...

GENEROUS, adj. Originally...

GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It...

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FUTURE, n. That...

FUTURE, n. That...

FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is...

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GAMBLING,n. [As in]...

GAMBLING,n. [As in]...

GAMBLING,n. [As in] 'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as...

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FLOP, v. Suddenly...

FLOP, v. Suddenly...

FLOP, v. Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of...

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EXPOSTULATION, n. One...

EXPOSTULATION, n. One...

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

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GEOGRAPHER, n. A...

GEOGRAPHER, n. A...

GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the...

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GHOST, n. The...

GHOST, n. The...

GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.

Source: The Devil's...

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GNU, n. An...

GNU, n. An...

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its...

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FREEBOOTER, n. A...

FREEBOOTER, n. A...

FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of...

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FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously...

FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously...

FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable.

Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
--...

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HAND, n. A...

HAND, n. A...

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's...

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GNOSTICS, n. A...

GNOSTICS, n. A...

GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists....

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GOOSE, n. A...

GOOSE, n. A...

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a...

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GLUTTON, n. A...

GLUTTON, n. A...

GLUTTON, n. A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin]...

FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin]...

FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person -- a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is...

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