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Ogden Nash
A door is...
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Source: A Dog's Best...
Marriage is the...
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets...
Any kiddie in...
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But hating, my boy, is an art.
The trouble with...
The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.
Source: 'The...
Some debts are...
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring...
The further through...
The further through life I drift
The more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in...
You are much...
You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.
Source:
-- Ogden...
The only way...
The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions
Is by their actions.
Every New Year...
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
I have a...
I have a bone to pick with Fate
Come here and tell me, girlie,
Do you think my mind is maturing late,
Or...
I do not...
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many...
One would be...
One would be in less danger
From the wiles of the stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be...
Home is heaven...
Home is heaven and orgies are vile
But you need an orgy, once in a while.
Whether elected or...
Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's annointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on...
Dogs display reluctance...
Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the...
A family is...
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common...
I think remorse...
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Source: A Clean...
A lady is...
A lady is known by the product she endorses.
Source: In Webster's Electronic...
Progress might've been...
Progress might've been alright once but it has gone on too long.
Source: In 1,911...
To be an...
To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
Source:...