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Success is a great deodorant. -Elizabeth Taylor |
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A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps...
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Source: In Webster's...
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've...
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Honk Kong it's the way the egg...
Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to...
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use...
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
Source: Quote...
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Source:...
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Source: In Webster's Electronic...
A compliment is verbal sunshine.
Source: In Webster's Electronic Quotebase, ed....
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask an Indian.
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Source: In Webster's Electronic...
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Source: In Webster's Electronic...
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
If those scientists are so smart, why do they all count backward?
Source:
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Source: In Webster's...
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor...