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Success is a great deodorant. -Elizabeth Taylor |
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Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
I felt comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for...
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Source: In An Uncommon Scold,...
Your anger can be 49 % and your comedy 51 %, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 %, the comedy is...
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks...
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly -- hurt, bitterness,...
I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door -- or...
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes --and six months later you have to start all over...
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a...
Never floss with a stranger.
Source: In Webster's Electronic Quotebase, ed. Keith...
After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
Source:...
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Source: From a...
Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
Source: In Words of Women...
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key...