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I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good...
A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five.
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs...
Home is where you hang your head.
Source: In The Speaker's Electronic Reference...
There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he's...
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading...
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
How he got into my pajamas I'll never...
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Source:...
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a...
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong...
I never forget a face, but I'll make an exception in your case.
Source: The...
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
Look at me: I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Source:...
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
Source:...
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Source: In Webster's...
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Source: Quoted in A. Spiegelman...
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for...
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
Source: In
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