H L Mencken

Time stays, we...

Time stays, we...

Time stays, we go.

Source: In

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The truly civilized...

The truly civilized...

The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant. . . . His culture is based on 'I'm not too...

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Alimony -- the...

Alimony -- the...

Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

Source: In

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The first kiss...

The first kiss...

The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman.

Source: In...

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The whole aim...

The whole aim...

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by...

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To be in...

To be in...

To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia.

Source: In

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There is no...

There is no...

There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher.

Source: In Webster's...

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For every complex...

For every complex...

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

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The typical lawmaker...

The typical lawmaker...

The typical lawmaker of today is a man wholly devoid of principle -- a mere counter in a grotesque and knavish game....

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What the mob...

What the mob...

What the mob thirsts for is not good government in itself, but the merry chase of a definite exponent of bad...

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A man's women...

A man's women...

A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as...

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Women don't like...

Women don't like...

Women don't like timid men. Cats do not like prudent mice.

Source: In Webster's...

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If I ever...

If I ever...

If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.

Source: In...

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A good politician...

A good politician...

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

Source: In

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A church is...

A church is...

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get...

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If Los Angeles...

If Los Angeles...

If Los Angeles is not the one authentic rectum of civilization, then I am no anatomist. Any time you want to go out...

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Have you ever...

Have you ever...

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the...

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One horse-laugh is...

One horse-laugh is...

One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more...

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A judge is...

A judge is...

A judge is a law student who grades his own papers.

Source: In

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A prohibitionist is...

A prohibitionist is...

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

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