Fred Allen

Fred Allen: California is a...

Fred Allen: California is a...

California is a great place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Source:...

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Fred Allen: The last time...

Fred Allen: The last time...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

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Fred Allen: Batten, Barton, Durstine...

Fred Allen: Batten, Barton, Durstine...

Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne sounds like a trunk falling down a flight of stairs.

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Fred Allen: The first time...

Fred Allen: The first time...

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

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Fred Allen: An associate producer...

Fred Allen: An associate producer...

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

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Fred Allen: I don't have...

Fred Allen: I don't have...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Source: In...

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Fred Allen: Some movie stars...

Fred Allen: Some movie stars...

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for...

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Fred Allen: Advertising is 85%...

Fred Allen: Advertising is 85%...

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

Source: In The Executives...

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Fred Allen: When a radio...

Fred Allen: When a radio...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy...

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Fred Allen: Washington is no...

Fred Allen: Washington is no...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

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