Woody Allen

Woody Allen: I'm astounded by...

Woody Allen: I'm astounded by...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around...

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Woody Allen: I was thrown...

Woody Allen: I was thrown...

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year. . . for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the...

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Woody Allen: In Beverly Hills....

Woody Allen: In Beverly Hills....

In Beverly Hills. . . they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television...

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Woody Allen: If you're not...

Woody Allen: If you're not...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very...

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Woody Allen: Eighty percent of...

Woody Allen: Eighty percent of...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Source: In Friendly Advice, ed. Jon...

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Woody Allen: More than any...

Woody Allen: More than any...

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other...

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Woody Allen: The universe is...

Woody Allen: The universe is...

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just...

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Woody Allen: If only God...

Woody Allen: If only God...

If only God would give me a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss...

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Woody Allen: Most of the...

Woody Allen: Most of the...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the times, I don't have any fun at...

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Woody Allen: The lion and...

Woody Allen: The lion and...

The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.

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Woody Allen: I had a...

Woody Allen: I had a...

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

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Woody Allen: There are two...

Woody Allen: There are two...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking...

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Woody Allen: Love is the...

Woody Allen: Love is the...

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good...

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Woody Allen: Organized crime in...

Woody Allen: Organized crime in...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when...

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Woody Allen: My success has...

Woody Allen: My success has...

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

Source: From...

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Woody Allen: How is it...

Woody Allen: How is it...

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

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Woody Allen: Man consists of...

Woody Allen: Man consists of...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

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Woody Allen: Of all the...

Woody Allen: Of all the...

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose...

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Woody Allen: You can live...

Woody Allen: You can live...

You can live to be 100 if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100.

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Woody Allen: On the plus...

Woody Allen: On the plus...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

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