PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
-- Ambrose Bierce, (Jun 24 1842-1914), US journalist, short-story writer; He was a noted wit, satirist and sardonic short story writer who disappeared while covering the Mexican revolution.