FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
-- Ambrose Bierce, (Jun 24 1842-1914), US journalist, short-story writer; He was a noted wit, satirist and sardonic short story writer who disappeared while covering the Mexican revolution.