He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson, ch. 21, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar, 1894.
-- Mark Twain, (Nov 30 1835-1910), US novelist, journalist, river pilot; The Great American humorist was also known as The People's Author and creator of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn.