All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.
Source: The Knock at the Stage Door, Quoted in: Wit's End, ed. Robert E. Drennan, 1968.
-- Alexander Woollcott, (Jan 19 1887-1943), US novelist, critic, actor; He was known for his acerbic wit and his book The Man Who Came to Dinner; self-appointed leader of the Algonquin Round Table.