Robert Benchley

It took me...

It took me...

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was...

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Great literature must...

Great literature must...

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come...

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Drawing on my...

Drawing on my...

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Source: Chips off the Old...

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Anyone can do...

Anyone can do...

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the...

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A dog teaches...

A dog teaches...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

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I have tried...

I have tried...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly...

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Defining and analyzing...

Defining and analyzing...

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Source: In...

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Most of the...

Most of the...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I...

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The biggest obstacle...

The biggest obstacle...

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter...

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I have been...

I have been...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those...

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Breaking the ice...

Breaking the ice...

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

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Sheer madness is,...

Sheer madness is,...

Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.

Source: In The...

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The surest way...

The surest way...

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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I do most...

I do most...

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Source: Attributed.
--...

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The free-lance writer...

The free-lance writer...

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

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STREETS FULL OF...

STREETS FULL OF...

STREETS FULL OF WATER. PLEASE ADVISE.

Source: On arriving in Venice;...

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Except for an...

Except for an...

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

Source:...

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I don't trust...

I don't trust...

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.

Source: To a bank...

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If you think...

If you think...

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play...

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A great many...

A great many...

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so...

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