Mark Twain

Mark Twain: I have found...

Mark Twain: I have found...

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with...

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Mark Twain: There is nothing...

Mark Twain: There is nothing...

There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.

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Mark Twain: Why was the...

Mark Twain: Why was the...

Why was the human race created? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit...

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Mark Twain: Let us be...

Mark Twain: Let us be...

Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of...

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Mark Twain: O Lord our...

Mark Twain: O Lord our...

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields...

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Mark Twain: The true charm...

Mark Twain: The true charm...

The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is...

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Mark Twain: Be virtuous and...

Mark Twain: Be virtuous and...

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

Source: Motto, in Mental Photographs , 1869;...

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Mark Twain: Everybody talks about...

Mark Twain: Everybody talks about...

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Source:...

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Mark Twain: As to the...

Mark Twain: As to the...

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson's...

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Mark Twain: Write without pay...

Mark Twain: Write without pay...

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were...

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Mark Twain: Be Yourself is...

Mark Twain: Be Yourself is...

Be Yourself is about the worst advice you can give to people.

Source:
-- Mark...

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Mark Twain: Don't you worry,...

Mark Twain: Don't you worry,...

'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.'I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the...

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Mark Twain: A baby is...

Mark Twain: A baby is...

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

Source: Letter to Annie Webster, 1...

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Mark Twain: A crime persevered...

Mark Twain: A crime persevered...

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and...

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Mark Twain: A banker is...

Mark Twain: A banker is...

A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to...

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Mark Twain: A classic is...

Mark Twain: A classic is...

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Mark Twain: A good memory...

Mark Twain: A good memory...

A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to...

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Mark Twain: A coin, sleeve...

Mark Twain: A coin, sleeve...

A coin, sleeve button, or a collar button dropped in a bedroom will hide itself and be hard to find. A handkerchief in...

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Mark Twain: A habit cannot...

Mark Twain: A habit cannot...

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a...

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Mark Twain: A hypocritical Boston...

Mark Twain: A hypocritical Boston...

A hypocritical Boston tycoon once told Mark Twain, 'Before I die I mean to make a pilgrimage to the top of Mount...

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