Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson: People will pay...

Johnny Carson: People will pay...

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Johnny Carson: Talent alone won't...

Johnny Carson: Talent alone won't...

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready....

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Johnny Carson: If it weren't...

Johnny Carson: If it weren't...

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio...

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Johnny Carson: My success just...

Johnny Carson: My success just...

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Source:...

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Johnny Carson: If life was...

Johnny Carson: If life was...

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

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Johnny Carson: There was this...

Johnny Carson: There was this...

There was this billy goat at a movie studio who found and ate a can of film. When a nanny asked him how he liked it,...

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Johnny Carson: New York is...

Johnny Carson: New York is...

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

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Johnny Carson: If variety is...

Johnny Carson: If variety is...

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Source:...

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Johnny Carson: For three days...

Johnny Carson: For three days...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

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Johnny Carson: The only thing...

Johnny Carson: The only thing...

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Source:...

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Johnny Carson: Democracy means that...

Johnny Carson: Democracy means that...

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice...

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Johnny Carson: I know you've...

Johnny Carson: I know you've...

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very...

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Johnny Carson: Never use a...

Johnny Carson: Never use a...

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Johnny Carson: Married men live...

Johnny Carson: Married men live...

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

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Johnny Carson: The difference between...

Johnny Carson: The difference between...

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his...

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