Robert Orben

Robert Orben: A graduation ceremony...

Robert Orben: A graduation ceremony...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps...

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Robert Orben: Happiness is a...

Robert Orben: Happiness is a...

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Source: In Webster's...

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Robert Orben: I understand the...

Robert Orben: I understand the...

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've...

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Robert Orben: It may be...

Robert Orben: It may be...

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Honk Kong it's the way the egg...

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Robert Orben: Every morning, I...

Robert Orben: Every morning, I...

Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to...

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Robert Orben: I should warn...

Robert Orben: I should warn...

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use...

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Robert Orben: A vacation is...

Robert Orben: A vacation is...

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Source: Quote...

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Robert Orben: Planned obsolescence is...

Robert Orben: Planned obsolescence is...

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Source:...

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Robert Orben: If you can...

Robert Orben: If you can...

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Source: In Webster's Electronic...

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Robert Orben: A compliment is...

Robert Orben: A compliment is...

A compliment is verbal sunshine.

Source: In Webster's Electronic Quotebase, ed....

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Robert Orben: Illegal aliens have...

Robert Orben: Illegal aliens have...

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask an Indian.

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Robert Orben: Quit worrying about...

Robert Orben: Quit worrying about...

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

Source: In Webster's Electronic...

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Robert Orben: Spring is God's...

Robert Orben: Spring is God's...

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Source: In Webster's Electronic...

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Robert Orben: There are days...

Robert Orben: There are days...

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

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Robert Orben: Old people shouldn't...

Robert Orben: Old people shouldn't...

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

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Robert Orben: Never raise your...

Robert Orben: Never raise your...

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

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Robert Orben: If those scientists...

Robert Orben: If those scientists...

If those scientists are so smart, why do they all count backward?

Source:
--...

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Robert Orben: With my luck,...

Robert Orben: With my luck,...

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

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Robert Orben: A toast to...

Robert Orben: A toast to...

A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

Source: In Webster's...

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Robert Orben: In prehistoric times,...

Robert Orben: In prehistoric times,...

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor...

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