Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman: When I read...

Henny Youngman: When I read...

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Source: In The Fifth...

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Henny Youngman: I once wanted...

Henny Youngman: I once wanted...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays.

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Henny Youngman: I bet on...

Henny Youngman: I bet on...

I bet on a horse at ten to one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Source:...

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Henny Youngman: If you're going...

Henny Youngman: If you're going...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

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Henny Youngman: Some people ask...

Henny Youngman: Some people ask...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little...

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Henny Youngman: I take my...

Henny Youngman: I take my...

I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.

Source: In The...

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Henny Youngman: How to drive...

Henny Youngman: How to drive...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

Source:...

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Henny Youngman: When God sneezed,...

Henny Youngman: When God sneezed,...

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Source: NBC TV 28 Aug 86
-- Henny...

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Henny Youngman: You can't buy...

Henny Youngman: You can't buy...

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Source: In The Ultimate Success...

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Henny Youngman: I've got all...

Henny Youngman: I've got all...

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.

Source: In The...

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