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Ambrose Bierce
BENEFACTOR, n. One...
BENEFACTOR, n. One who makes heavy purchases of ingratitude, without, however, materially affecting the price, which...
CEMETERY, n. An...
CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for...
CENTAUR, n. One...
CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of...
CLOCK, n. A...
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of...
CAVILER, n. A...
CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
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BOTANY, n. The...
BOTANY, n. The science of vegetables -- those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely...
CHRISTIAN, n. One...
CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual...
COMPULSION, n. The...
COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
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COMPROMISE, n. Such...
COMPROMISE, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has...
CERBERUS, n. The...
CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance -- against whom or what does not clearly...
CABBAGE, n. A...
CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
CLERGYMAN, n. A...
CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal...
CORPORATION, n. An...
CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit
Source: The...
CONGRESS, n. A...
CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary,...
CLARIONET, n. An...
CLARIONET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that...
CALUMNUS, n. A...
CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary,...
CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly...
CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to...
CRAYFISH, n. A...
CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
CONSERVATIVE, n. A...
CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal who wishes to replace...
COMMENDATION, n. The...
COMMENDATION, n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles, but do not equal, our...