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Ambrose Bierce
YESTERDAY, n. The...
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
WORSHIP, n. Homo...
WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of...
TURKEY, n. A...
TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of...
WHITE, adj. and...
WHITE, adj. and n. Black.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
-- Ambrose...
WAR, n. A...
WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international...
YOUTH, n. The...
YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities...
ZANY, n. A...
ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffone, or clown, and...
WEDDING, n. A...
WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing...
WITCH, n. (1)...
WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive...
WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain...
WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species,...
ZENITH, n. The...
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a...
ZEAL, n. A...
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a...
WHEAT, n. A...
WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat...
X, n. In...
X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and...
WORMS'-MEAT, n. The...
WORMS'-MEAT, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material.
Source: The...
ZOOLOGY, n. The...
ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly (Musca maledicta). The...
ZEUS, n. The...
ZEUS, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and...
WITTICISM, n. A...
WITTICISM, n. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted, and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a...
ZIGZAG, v.t. To...
ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden. (From zed, z, and...
WRATH, n. Anger...
WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, the...