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Ambrose Bierce
WEATHER, n. The...
WEATHER, n. The climate of the hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but...
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A...
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
Source:...
SYMBOL, n. Something...
SYMBOL, n. Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere survivals -- as...
USAGE, n. The...
USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with...
TENACITY, n. A...
TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest...
WOMAN, n. An...
WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to...
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain...
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
Source: The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
--...
TAIL, n. The...
TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence...
VOTE, n. The...
VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his...
ULTIMATUM, n. In...
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
Source:...
YANKEE, n. In...
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the...
VITUPERATION, n. Saite,...
VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their...
TAKE, v.t. To...
TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
Source: The...
WALL STREET, n....
WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that...
VALOR, n. A...
VALOR, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.
Source: The...
YEAR, n. A...
YEAR, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
Source: The...
WIT, n. The...
WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it...
TRICHINOSIS, n. The...
TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
Source: The Devil's...
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In...
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes...
VANITY, n. The...
VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
Source: The...