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Russell Baker
A railroad station?...
A railroad station? That was sort of a primitive airport, only you didn't have to take a cab 20 miles out of town to...
People seem to...
People seem to enjoy things more when they know that a lot of other people have been left out on the...
In America, it...
In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.
Source: 'The New York...
Disguises thinner than...
Disguises thinner than a Chicago stripteaser's work clothes.
Source: On...
It seems to...
It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes...
Don't try to...
Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.
Source:...
In today's highly...
In today's highly complex society it takes years of training in rationalization, accommodation and compromise to...
A new star...
A new star with a tremendous national appeal, the skill of a consummate showman.
It was dramatic...
It was dramatic to watch [my grandmother] decapitate [a turkey] with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the...
When it comes...
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible -- cowards and fools.
Poetry is so...
Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
Source: Introduction to The Norton...
Caution: These verses...
Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.
Source: Introduction to...
Life is always...
Life is always walking up to us and saying, Come on in, the living's find, and what do we do? Back off and take its...
I gave up...
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely...
Live by publicity,...
Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.
Source: On President Ronald...
Life is always...
Life is always walking up to us and saying, Come on in, the living's fine, and what do we do? Back off and take its...
You can't enjoy...
You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.
Source: Introduction to The Norton...
The goal of...
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him.
Inanimate objects are...
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories -- those that don't work, those that break...
Happiness is a...
Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in...