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Robert Benchley
It took me...
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was...
Great literature must...
Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come...
Drawing on my...
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Source: Chips off the Old...
Anyone can do...
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the...
A dog teaches...
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...
I have tried...
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly...
Defining and analyzing...
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Source: In...
Most of the...
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I...
The biggest obstacle...
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter...
I have been...
I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those...
Breaking the ice...
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.
Sheer madness is,...
Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Source: In The...
The surest way...
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Source: In The Speaker's...
I do most...
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
Source: Attributed.
--...
The free-lance writer...
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
STREETS FULL OF...
STREETS FULL OF WATER. PLEASE ADVISE.
Source: On arriving in Venice;...
Except for an...
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Source:...
I don't trust...
I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.
Source: To a bank...
If you think...
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play...
A great many...
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so...