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Mark Twain
I can teach...
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me...
I have never...
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Source: In
I don't give...
I don't give a damn for man that can spell a word only one way.
Source: In
If He Tom...
If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended...
I'm glad that...
I'm glad that the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.
I could never...
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in...
I never felt...
I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when...
I have made...
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Source:
--...
Ignorant people think...
Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the...
In Paris they...
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand...
I don't like...
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both...
I was gratified...
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said, I don't know.
Source:...
I like criticism,...
I like criticism, but it must be my way.
Source:
-- Mark Twain, (Nov 30...
In the real...
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians...
In all matters...
In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.
Source:
-- Mark Twain,...
I know all...
I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of...
I would rather...
I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S. Grant in full military...
I never could...
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
It is better...
It is better to be a young June Bug than an old Bird of Paradise.
Source:
--...
It is better...
It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve...