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Mark Twain
I have found...
I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with...
There is nothing...
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
Why was the...
Why was the human race created? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit...
Let us be...
Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of...
O Lord our...
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields...
The true charm...
The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is...
Be virtuous and...
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
Source: Motto, in Mental Photographs , 1869;...
Everybody talks about...
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Source:...
As to the...
As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.
Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson's...
Write without pay...
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were...
Be Yourself is...
Be Yourself is about the worst advice you can give to people.
Source:
-- Mark...
Don't you worry,...
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.'I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the...
A baby is...
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
Source: Letter to Annie Webster, 1...
A crime persevered...
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and...
A banker is...
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to...
A classic is...
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
A good memory...
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to...
A coin, sleeve...
A coin, sleeve button, or a collar button dropped in a bedroom will hide itself and be hard to find. A handkerchief in...
A habit cannot...
A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a...
A hypocritical Boston...
A hypocritical Boston tycoon once told Mark Twain, 'Before I die I mean to make a pilgrimage to the top of Mount...