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Mark Twain
My books are...
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
I am different...
I am different from Washington. I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie,...
To do something,...
To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared...
I find that...
I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.
Source:...
I am admonished...
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977...
In the first...
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.
From his cradle...
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any first and foremost object but one -- to...
Principles aren't of...
Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them...
Truth is the...
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Source: Following...
No God and...
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face...
A man can...
A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too...
There is no...
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
Source:...
The radical invents...
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Wit and Humor...
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but...
Scientists have odious...
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of...
Training is everything....
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college...
It is a...
It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
Source: Of Hinduism; Following...
Let me make...
Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs...
By hard, honest...
By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three...
In statesmanship get...
In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.