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Mark Twain: A classic is...

Mark Twain: A classic is...

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Mark Twain: A thoroughly beautiful...

Mark Twain: A thoroughly beautiful...

A thoroughly beautiful woman and a thoroughy homely woman are creations which I love to gaze upon, and which I cannot...

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Mark Twain: Against the assault...

Mark Twain: Against the assault...

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Source: In The Ultimate Success...

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Mark Twain: All say, `How...

Mark Twain: All say, `How...

All say, `How hard it is to die' - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to...

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Mark Twain: Each person is...

Mark Twain: Each person is...

Each person is born to one possession which out values all his others -- his last breath.

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Mark Twain: Both marriage and...

Mark Twain: Both marriage and...

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...

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Mark Twain: Be good and...

Mark Twain: Be good and...

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Source: Following the Equator, caption for...

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Mark Twain: Cauliflower is nothing...

Mark Twain: Cauliflower is nothing...

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Source: Pudd'nhead...

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Mark Twain: Few things are...

Mark Twain: Few things are...

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Source:...

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Mark Twain: Fleas can be...

Mark Twain: Fleas can be...

Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can.

Source:
-- Mark...

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Mark Twain: I admire him...

Mark Twain: I admire him...

I admire him [Cecil Rhodes], I frankly confess it; and when his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a...

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Mark Twain: He has been...

Mark Twain: He has been...

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think -- yes, it was three; I attended their...

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Mark Twain: I have not...

Mark Twain: I have not...

I have not a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices.

Source: In...

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Mark Twain: I was born...

Mark Twain: I was born...

I was born modest; not all over, but in spots.

Source:
-- Mark Twain, (Nov 30...

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Mark Twain: It's not the...

Mark Twain: It's not the...

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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Mark Twain: It is easier...

Mark Twain: It is easier...

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Source: In 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever...

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Mark Twain: If there was...

Mark Twain: If there was...

If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.

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Mark Twain: It's good sportsmanship...

Mark Twain: It's good sportsmanship...

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

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Mark Twain: Loyalty to petrified...

Mark Twain: Loyalty to petrified...

Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world -- and never...

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Mark Twain: In his private...

Mark Twain: In his private...

In his private heart no man much respects himself.

Source:
-- Mark Twain, (Nov...

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