Love demands infinitely less than friendship.

I only drink to make other people seem more interesting.

Musicals are to the theater what wines are to a substantial dinner.

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.