INVENTOR, n. -- A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

ADMIRATION, n. -- Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

PLAN, v.t. To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

Wit, n. -- The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

PATIENCE, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.