Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel.

Years ago we discovered the exact point the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.