Laugh and the world laughs with you,
be prompt and you dine alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
but has trouble enough of its own.

What is the good of being a genius if you cannot use it as an excuse for being unemployed?

I wish I could be half as sure of anything as some people are of everything.

You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.

Ten ancient commandments lousing up the fun.
Along came prosperity, and then there was none.