He was sent, as usual, to a public school, where a little learning was painfully beaten into him, and from thence to the university, where it was carefully taken out of him.

A book that furnishes no quotations is, me judice, no book -- it is a plaything.

There are two reasons for drinking; one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it . . . Prevention is better than cure.

Respectable means rich, and decent means poor. I should die if I heard my family called decent.

I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away.