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Tallulah Bankhead: Let's not quibble!...

Tallulah Bankhead: Let's not quibble!...

Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose...

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Gilda Radner: I wanted a...

Gilda Radner: I wanted a...

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a...

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Carol Burnett: When you have...

Carol Burnett: When you have...

When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go.

Source: In The...

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Whoopi Goldberg: I don't like...

Whoopi Goldberg: I don't like...

I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that,...

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Whoopi Goldberg: I am where...

Whoopi Goldberg: I am where...

I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities.

Source: In Essence, Aug...

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Carol Burnett: Adolescence is just...

Carol Burnett: Adolescence is just...

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

Source: Phil Donahue show NBC TV 16 Oct...

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Candice Bergen: Dreams are, by...

Candice Bergen: Dreams are, by...

Dreams are, by definition, cursed with short life spans.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Marlene Dietrich: The weak are...

Marlene Dietrich: The weak are...

The weak are more likely to make the strong weak than the strong are likely to make the weak...

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Virginia Graham: Good shot, bad...

Virginia Graham: Good shot, bad...

Good shot, bad luck and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be...

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Yoko Ono: All my concerts...

Yoko Ono: All my concerts...

All my concerts had no sounds in them; they were completely silent. People had to make up their own music in their...

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Duke Ellington: People do not...

Duke Ellington: People do not...

People do not retire. They are retired by others.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Ma Rainey: You see me...

Ma Rainey: You see me...

You see me ravin', you hear me crying,
Of Lawd, this lonely heart of maine,
Sometimes I'm grieving from my hat...

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Jeff Foxworthy: You may be...

Jeff Foxworthy: You may be...

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your...

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Groucho Marx: I didn't like...

Groucho Marx: I didn't like...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

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Groucho Marx: If income tax...

Groucho Marx: If income tax...

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for...

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Steven Wright: I bought my...

Steven Wright: I bought my...

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but...

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George Burns: If I get...

George Burns: If I get...

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a...

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Alexander Smith: Love is but...

Alexander Smith: Love is but...

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.

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Joseph Brodsky: Twentieth-century Russian literature...

Joseph Brodsky: Twentieth-century Russian literature...

Twentieth-century Russian literature has produced nothing special except perhaps one novel and two stories by Andrei...

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George Gordon Byron: In general I...

George Gordon Byron: In general I...

In general I do not draw well with literary men -- not that I dislike them but I never know what to say to them after...

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