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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts: Ambition is like...

Jack Handey Deep Thoughts: Ambition is like...

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog...

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Jane Wagner: A sobering thought:...

Jane Wagner: A sobering thought:...

A sobering thought: What if, right at this very moment, I am living up to my full...

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Jane Wagner: I personally think...

Jane Wagner: I personally think...

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

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John Coltrane: There are so...

John Coltrane: There are so...

There are so many things to be considered in making music. The whole question of life itself . . . I know that I want...

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Ella Fitzgerald: I guess what...

Ella Fitzgerald: I guess what...

I guess what everyone wants more than anything else is to be loved. And to know that you loved me for my singing is...

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Jelly Roll Morton: My contributions were...

Jelly Roll Morton: My contributions were...

My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of...

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Jelly Roll Morton: I have been...

Jelly Roll Morton: I have been...

I have been robbed of three million dollars all told. Everyone today is playing my stuff and I don't even get credit....

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Josephine Baker: Beautiful? It's all...

Josephine Baker: Beautiful? It's all...

Beautiful? It's all a question of luck. I was born with good legs. As for the rest . . . beautiful, no. Amusing,...

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Walt Disney: I always like...

Walt Disney: I always like...

I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex...

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Walt Disney: People spend money...

Walt Disney: People spend money...

People spend money when and where they feel good.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Peter Ustinov: To refuse awards....

Peter Ustinov: To refuse awards....

To refuse awards. . . is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

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Will Rogers: Communism to me...

Will Rogers: Communism to me...

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Source: Wit and...

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Robert Redford: People have been...

Robert Redford: People have been...

People have been so busy relating to how I look, it's a miracle I didn't become a self-conscious blob of...

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Paul McCartney: All these places...

Paul McCartney: All these places...

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are...

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Jerry Garcia: For me, the...

Jerry Garcia: For me, the...

For me, the lame part of the Sixties was the political part, the social part. The real part was the spiritual...

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Tom Lehrer: The Army has...

Tom Lehrer: The Army has...

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the...

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Tom Lehrer: It is a...

Tom Lehrer: It is a...

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for two...

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Victor Borge: I know [canned...

Victor Borge: I know [canned...

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get...

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Victor Borge: In my youth,...

Victor Borge: In my youth,...

In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.

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Victor Borge: Santa Claus has...

Victor Borge: Santa Claus has...

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

Source: In Webster's...

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