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Frank Capra: Automatic simply means...

Frank Capra: Automatic simply means...

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

Source: In Webster's...

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Rodney Dangerfield: Life is just...

Rodney Dangerfield: Life is just...

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Source: From Alt.Quotations Misc, an internet...

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Bob Hope: That's life. The...

Bob Hope: That's life. The...

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Source: In The Golfer's...

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George Burns: Smartness runs in...

George Burns: Smartness runs in...

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five...

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Fred Allen: Hollywood is a...

Fred Allen: Hollywood is a...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Source:...

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Phyllis Diller: I buried a...

Phyllis Diller: I buried a...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

Source: In Woman's Almanac,...

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Beatrice Lillie: The vows one...

Beatrice Lillie: The vows one...

The vows one makes privately are more binding than any ceremony or even a Shubert...

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Lucille Ball: You see much...

Lucille Ball: You see much...

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Fred Astaire: The higher up...

Fred Astaire: The higher up...

The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered...

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John Sean O'Feeny Ford: Tell it with...

John Sean O'Feeny Ford: Tell it with...

Tell it with pictures -- direct it like you were making a silent.

Source: In The...

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Jane Fonda: You can do...

Jane Fonda: You can do...

You can do one of two things; just shut up, which is something I don't find easy, or learn an awful lot very fast...

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Yoko Ono: Everybody's an artist....

Yoko Ono: Everybody's an artist....

Everybody's an artist. Everybody's God. It's just that they're inhibited.

Source:...

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Les Brown: All of us...

Les Brown: All of us...

All of us need to grow continuously in our lives.

Source: In The Ultimate Success...

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Les Brown: A lot of...

Les Brown: A lot of...

A lot of people do not muster the courage to live their dreams because they are afraid to...

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Duke Ellington: On becoming more...

Duke Ellington: On becoming more...

On becoming more acquainted with the word of the Bible, I began to understand so much more of what I had been taught,...

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Duke Ellington: The common root,...

Duke Ellington: The common root,...

The common root, of course, comes out of Africa. That's the pulse.The African pulse. It's all the way back from . . ....

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Steven Wright: I took a...

Steven Wright: I took a...

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

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Jeff Foxworthy: If men have...

Jeff Foxworthy: If men have...

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

Source: In Webster's Electronic...

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Groucho Marx: Politics is the...

Groucho Marx: Politics is the...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong...

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Steven Wright: Everywhere is walking...

Steven Wright: Everywhere is walking...

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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