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Geraldine Chaplin: I didn't fall...

Geraldine Chaplin: I didn't fall...

I didn't fall in love with acting until I did a few films. Now, I couldn't live without...

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Marlene Dietrich: Think twice before...

Marlene Dietrich: Think twice before...

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

Source: In The Speaker's...

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Shirley Jones: We can't negate...

Shirley Jones: We can't negate...

We can't negate television. Unfortunately, I do feel in many ways that it did kill my movie career. It did do that....

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Shirley Jones: Well, television is...

Shirley Jones: Well, television is...

Well, television is what it is. Let's face it. I had done 25 motion pictures prior to The Partridge Family and nobody...

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Virginia Graham: Be blind. Be...

Virginia Graham: Be blind. Be...

Be blind. Be stupid. Be British. Be careful.

Source: Say Please, ch. 24,...

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Virginia Graham: In society it...

Virginia Graham: In society it...

In society it is etiquette for ladies to have the best chairs and get handed things. In the home the reverse is the...

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Ilka Chase: You can always...

Ilka Chase: You can always...

You can always spot a well-informed man -- his views are the same as yours.

Source:...

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Les Brown: Help others achieve...

Les Brown: Help others achieve...

Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.

Source: In The...

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Bessie Smith: No time to...

Bessie Smith: No time to...

No time to marry, no time to settle down;
I'm a young woman, and I ain't done runnin'...

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Bessie Smith: When my bed...

Bessie Smith: When my bed...

When my bed is empty,
Makes me feel awful mean and blue.
My springs are getting rusty,
Living single like I...

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Jimmy Durante: Good night, Mrs...

Jimmy Durante: Good night, Mrs...

Good night, Mrs Calabash, wherever you are!

Source: Sign-off line referring to...

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Jerry Seinfeld: To me, if...

Jerry Seinfeld: To me, if...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

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Jerry Seinfeld: It's amazing that...

Jerry Seinfeld: It's amazing that...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the...

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Jerry Seinfeld: Men don't care...

Jerry Seinfeld: Men don't care...

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Source: In...

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Jackie Mason: I have enough...

Jackie Mason: I have enough...

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Source:...

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George Carlin: If you can't...

George Carlin: If you can't...

If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

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George Carlin: Weather forecast for...

George Carlin: Weather forecast for...

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Source: In 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said,...

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Groucho Marx: I was so...

Groucho Marx: I was so...

I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.

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Groucho Marx: Look at me:...

Groucho Marx: Look at me:...

Look at me: I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Source:...

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Steven Wright: There's a fine...

Steven Wright: There's a fine...

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

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